Fear of premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is stressful for all men, and it can become especially stressful with age, as most women seem to expect more experienced men to be in control of their sexual arousal. One way to manage the situation is to learn to be less afraid of premature ejaculation.
One of the key problems that causes premature ejaculation is fear. When a person is nervous about their luck in bed, they usually focus too much on two things:
- Is it good for her?
- What are his genitals doing?
Both of these worries usually result in both further anxiety and an inability to control the climax. There are several reasons for this. First, when you worry too much about whether she is doing well, you stop focusing on how well you are, which greatly impairs your ability to enjoy the moment. Secondly, when you focus too much on what you are doing, you often lose the natural abilities that you have acquired from your experience.
It's like other players won't pay attention to a pitcher making a great throw during a game. You want the server to still feel like he can throw it naturally. The ball service is a complex mechanism that the server has learned over many years of practice. If he suddenly begins to worry and think about this mechanism, the throw becomes unnatural, and the whole process seems awkward and more difficult.
For these reasons, anxiety often leads to premature ejaculation, so it's important to find ways to control your fear of sexual failure.
How to control your fear of premature ejaculation before and during intercourse?
Always inform your partner.
By far the most important thing you can do is tell your partner if you have sexual dysfunction, be it PE or erectile dysfunction. Talk about it. If your partner is worried about you, he will not mind, because the more you exercise, the less you will suffer from HE in the future. Don't be a hero, because if you walk into the bedroom hoping that “it might be different this time,” you will probably experience a lot more anxiety and focus too much on whether you can contain her.
Have sex twice in a row.
Consider the first time every night as a prelude. The second time, there are almost always fewer feelings than the first, and with fewer feelings you will be able to control your ejaculation for longer. Take advantage of this by trying to last longer by having sex a second time that night. You will likely be able to last longer and have increased confidence, which is an important part of preventing PE.
Use your hands before and after.
Chances are, you are worried about whether she is doing well, and this causes more concern. You already told her that you have this problem, and you are working on it, and she understands. Your next step is to let her know that you are looking for other ways to please her. Warm it up in advance, and as soon as you do, take the initiative "into your own hands." You will be sure that she is good and your self-confidence will increase.
Decide if you need more or less foreplay.
For some men with PE, foreplay increases anxiety because they become more anxious in anticipation of ejaculation. For others, foreplay reduces anxiety because it gives them the opportunity to relax before the event occurs. Find out what works for you and talk to your partner about it to find out what she likes. The most important thing is to restore confidence. So if she likes something that helps you, take advantage of it.
Start and stop.
The "start and stop" method is a way to learn how to control HE. But it is also a way to reduce anxiety. "Attack" until you feel like an "explosion" begins, and then stop. Keep using this method until you realize that you can control your ejaculation without any problem. This will ensure that sex lasts longer, which is important for getting used to it, and it trains your mind to accept sex as less stressful (the longer you do it, even if you don't move that much, the the more you get used to intercourse). You may also consider learning about some intimate exercises for men.
Control premature ejaculation.
PE can affect you at any age. But the good thing is that when your PE is triggered by anxiety, it is something you can reduce by using the tips above to help control your fear and get used to having sex. You will need an understanding partner, but if your partner cares about you, then he understands you, and over time, you can fully discover the sexual courage within you.